Cognitive Dissonance
The mental discomfort we experience when our reality doesn't align with our beliefs, values, or perceptions. It's that nagging feeling that something's not quite right.
In narcissistic relationships, this discomfort is often intense. Narcissists are masters of mixed messages. Here’s how they work:
They say one thing, do another
Make promises they don't keep
Act caring one moment, cruel the next
This inconsistency creates a real mental struggle. You might find yourself:
Making excuses: "They didn't mean it."
Justifying: "They're just stressed from work."
Denying: "They didn't intend to hurt me."
Downplaying abuse because the good times seem so good
Why does this happen? We cling to our initial beliefs about the relationship and the person we thought we fell for. We're hooked on "hopium," desperately wanting our reality to match our expectations.
Remember: Healing means facing the truth. It's about accepting who your narcissistic partner really is, not who you hoped they'd be. This process can be painful and often requires professional support.
But here's the good news: Living in truth means living in the light. And who doesn't want more light in their life?
See also:
Hopium