Projection

Projection is a defense mechanism in which an individual transfers their own undesirable thoughts, feelings, or personality traits to others. It's a way of coping with parts of ourselves we find shameful or uncomfortable. Projecting is an unconscious process that allows people to avoid confronting their own emotions or characteristics by essentially "projecting" them onto someone else.

Because narcissists live in a world of denial and idealization, they inflate their own abilities and innate qualities. They are unable to face the fact that they, like all humans, are inherently imperfect and flawed. They protect their grandiosity and sense of superiority at all costs. One of the means they use to achieve this is projection.

Narcissists will accuse you of having traits they deny in themselves: "You're selfish. Everything is all about you."

They'll accuse you of actions they themselves are guilty of: "I know you're cheating on me."

They'll accuse you of harboring beliefs or feelings they don't want to acknowledge they themselves carry: "You think you're better than everyone else" or "Why are you always so angry?"

Projection is one way narcissists deflect their own shortcomings by dumping them onto you. It's yet another way for them to control the narrative and maintain the upper hand in relationships. The recipient of these projections ends up feeling confused and unsure of themselves—exactly what the narcissist has intended. You're left carrying all their imperfections, guilt and shame for them.